Giftbaskets are soooo last year! Or is it last decade? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. I’m actually a gift food merchant. Kind of has a special ring to is, doesn’t it? Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.
I can read your mind: “I’ll bet he never has a problem deciding what to give during the holidays; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” I want to disabuse you of your smug attitude! In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.
I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours. My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more. (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is. A little patience is called for on your part.)
Before you coerce me into giving away my store location, I want to share my own decision making strategy with you.
My first step is to decide on the appropriate category of gift from the many choices. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running. Instead, I think I’ll send him an assortment of gourmet cheeses and a fresh fruit basket.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ($95 a square yard). She’ll get a simple wine gift basket, but I’m not going to spring for the champagne!
Everyone in our family, except me, says that my nephew Alfred finally made his girlfriend an honest woman. I, on the other hand, never doubted his girlfriend’s honesty, but I have some reasons to suspect Alfred. In any case, they finally got married. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) What he wants is a check. Well, he’s not getting that from me. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. My thinking is that this is the only way to get his bride out of the kitchen. Alfred would never pay for a restaurant meal, so, in a sense, I’m sending the restaurant to them.
My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people. Then my wife makes me double that amount.
My perfect grandson isn’t getting a food gift. I’m getting him the latest cell phone system, complete with an unlimited calling plan. I would get him a sports car if only you would buy a lot more gift baskets!
Tags: food gift, fruit basket, gift basket, gift idea, gourmet meal, wine gift basket
